Tag: relationships

Intuition Is Your Relationship’s Best Friend

I like to think I’ve been in enough relationships to know what a good one entails. The reason for this chatter is because I can’t help but laugh at all of the women I’ve been hearing about lately that are either ridiculously blind in their own relationships or are totally and completely off their tree. It is so annoying to see someone too clueless to realize how amazing or how horrible their man may be.

I learned long ago that the one and only thing you should listen to in a relationship is your intuition. That little whisper inside that tugs ever-so-slightly at you when things seem a bit off. Let’s face it, for some people, their intuition could be screaming at top volume and they still wouldn’t hear it. Sad, but true.

It doesn’t take a genius to know if someone is being dishonest. It’s whether you choose to accept it or not. Are you being naive? Or are you really that stupid? Perhaps if you’re in a relationship and you obsess over same sex friends, constantly cyberstalk your mate, or can’t stand to let them spend time away without losing your mind in worry…how about turning up the volume on that intuition and use your brain.

No man wants a crazy, needy, obsessively jealous woman in his life. Yes, all men want to be wanted, but not to the extreme some people take it to these days. Do you really think your man is happy dealing with that? Let me help you…he isn’t. And chances are, one day, sooner than later, he’s going to up and leave. Sure a good man may stay a bit longer if he has other obligations with you, but trust me, one day he will leave your relationship. And please note, he will be happier with someone else. Have you ever thought about how many people are out there to replace you?

I guess I wrote this because growing up with two older brothers and being friends with a lot of guys, I have seen and continue to hear about the madness so many of them endure dealing with some women. While I do get great entertainment out of their tales of terror, it kind of makes me feel like I’m the last sane female alive.

Sure, I’m not perfect. But I am the type of independent, educated, passionate, family-oriented, classy, understanding, non-needy, warm-hearted, loyal female with good morals and a killer ass that your man comes to talk to about his problems with you. So maybe think about that.

You’re a woman, not a spy. So smarten up, save your energy and listen to your intuition. And if it’s reporting back bad news that you didn’t want to hear, then pack up your newly-found friend and head for the hills. And if you don’t have the confidence to do so, then either quit your complaining or accept your miserable situation while your relationship runs its course.

The Insignificance Of Distance

All too often (like today), someone will comment or ask why I would willingly consider carrying on a relationship with someone who travels so much or lives so far away. I just smile and explain the insignificance of distance.

Follow your gut

I guess I blame my strong beliefs in this reasoning on the fact that I was fortunate enough to have been a witness to one of the greatest love stories I’ve ever known. No, not the adventures of a duo of fictional characters wedged between the dog-eared pages of some classic novel. Rather the tale of one of my very own brothers…and his journey with love.

Clear as day, I remember my brother’s declaration for his now wife, of more than ten years. He was just a teenager, but his adoration for her was deeply-rooted. Where it began, I do not know. But we often laugh at how crazy it was to discover they actually were in the very same class together as young as kindergarten.

Time after time he would proclaim his love for her. And for me, just a kid, I couldn’t grasp what I was witnessing at the time…but over the years as I watched their relationship form into something absolutely phenomenal, I became a believer in the very fate that I now know is real.

I remember when our parents announced we would be leaving the crisp, comfort zone of our Steeler town and moving to the sun-kissed Wonderful World of Disney. I remember my brother was filled with disbelief. He couldn’t fathom leaving her…and all that distance…surely it would cause conflict. Or would it? I remember so many nights, sitting with my brother as he would write songs, playing the guitar, inspired by the very thought of her. I always felt so swept away by the realness of how he felt for her. He was never ashamed. He never cared what others would think. We are so similar in that way.

I recall the way he would write her letters, so many letters. To this very day, a huge box of letters she sent him back, sits in a drawer at my parents’ house. Year after year…through middle school, high school, even college…they kept in touch. Letters, phone calls, visits here and there…they remained far in distance but never in thought.

I knew I was watching something molded by the grip of destiny. It was inspiring. It triggered my belief in love at an early age. It confirmed to me that love, true love, has a course of its own…and we are simply at its mercy. Its path may lead us apart, away, or even into silence….but true love is guided by something for which we have no control.

Distance is a joke. Time is a joke.

Sure there were moments of struggle. Afterall, they each had the lives they were forced to live without one another on a day to day basis…but it wasn’t until college came to an end that it was, and rightfully so, a done deal.

And that is when happily ever after began. Every day apart was worth the very moment they would now be together. I’m telling you, this is why, when people refer to distance as the kiss of death to a relationship, I always kindly agree to disagree.

Because when you’ve seen a love story flourish and still going strong, despite what seemed to be a never-ending multitude of miles between two people, there is simply no other answer. There is no such thing as a coincidence. Life is a series of blessings linked together by the people we encounter.

Things like this allow you to believe in the power of fate…and you feel grateful to truly know that there really is something out there greater than each of us.

If You Ask Me Out, Please Note That I Will Google You And Tell You About It

Who are the people that we date? I mean, who are they really?

Not to sound like Sherlock Holmes in a pair of killer stilettos, but I’d like to thank the University of Florida’s College of Journalism and Communications for helping me acquire some of the most stellar investigative journalism skills during my time at their fine campus. Good times. (Go Gators!)

For me, honesty is always the best policy. However, everyone is not me. (What a bizarre world that would be.) Nonetheless, despite requesting honesty up front with every possible new beau, they all (so far) have had something to hide. I’m not saying tell me your entire life story on date one, but please be decent enough to expel the things that may hinder us dating passed this first evening…because I will find out…and I hate people wasting my time.

Please note this works both ways…so ladies, you should be honest, too. A few things I like to know before considering how serious I will take you…

Ever been arrested, if so for what? Tell me, because I will found out anyway.

Are you elaborating on what you do for a living just to impress me?
Waste of your time…because I will find out anyway. And by the way, I don’t give a s**t how much money you make. I’ve had it all and left the multi-million dollar spare key on the front step one too many times because of lack of honesty. If you lie once, you will lie again. And by the way, if you are a public figure, be smart enough to cover your tracks…otherwise, I will find out.

Are you now or have you ever been or even considered dating someone of the same sex?
I definitely don’t care who you sleep with…however, if there is a chance you will be living it up with Don Juan Valdez one night while I’m out of town…I’m going to have to pass. I like men who like chicks, not dicks.

And let’s not forget my all-time favorite…lying about being married or having a “baby mama”?
I will DEFINITELY find out and leave a trail of scalding Hell that will douse you with regret everywhere you go until your wife is made aware of your unfaithful nonsense.

P.S. Any man with a “baby mama” is such a turn off…a big load of generic luggage I don’t ever want or deserve in my life. I certainly am not judging you, but in my opinion, it’s pretty much the equivalent of a failed attempt at some relationship that was probably doomed from the start. Is there anyone left on the planet that believes in the traditional path of love, marriage, kids? Well I do and that is what I plan to do one day. Too many single parents. Too many kids paying the price.

In conclusion, I love Google, and the access of public and non-public records. I also love knowing people in the Secret Service.

Life is about being a good person, treating others with respect, and appreciating that the heart is a fragile piece within each of us. Sure karma can always work its magic…but I prefer to do a little research before I agree to apply time and effort into someone who may or may not just be in it for some sort of sick and twisted evening of dating bliss…something that you will surely not get from me until many moons have passed and all records have been cleared.

Sometimes ©

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than crying yourself to sleep

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than letting the tears wash your face

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than realizing how things could have been

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than having a heart that knew how to love

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than knowing what you had

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than never having to look back

Sometimes there is no better feeling
than crying yourself to death…over a life with no regrets.

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Sacred ©

He reminds me of a maze I want to stay lost in forever
Little surprises at every turn
The faster the second hand swings
The harder I am blown away by the gusts of this wild ride…
And I love it.

I try so hard to hold onto the walls only he has been able to tear down
Taking his time on me
Piece by piece unraveling me…
And I love it.

Sometimes I can’t help but stagger,
Trying to gather myself as his eyes hover over mine.

The brightest eyes I’ve ever known,
Painted over with a subtle hint of grey, it is impossible to look away.

An angelic touch,
His hands trace my body as perfectly as Da Vinci’s brush.

He leaves me tousled
He makes me shine
Every kiss feels like the first
Even his shadow beams…

And I love it.

*

Valentine’s Delight

I like Valentine’s Day.

Sure, my romantic breakfast in bed this Valentine’s Day may have consisted of me reaching over and grabbing a handful of chocolates from my night table. And that is fine with me.

And maybe the one who makes my heart smile as of late is across the ocean embracing his own creativity and talents…something I respect, appreciate, and relate to more than I could ever explain. And that is fine with me.

While it’s fun to shower someone with gifts on a day like today, I’ve always felt love and relationships and even Valentine’s Day, are simply about the moments you experience with someone…capturing one another in your private little frame that only the two of you share.

That is the beauty of it. That is what matters most…to me anyway.

Untitled ©

There is nothing that I would not do
I would run across the moon for you
Just to have something I know is true
Resting in your arms.

There was once a time that I had doubt
But you changed my heart and changed my route
You are all that I can’t live without
Now I’m resting in your arms.

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Into Your Arms ©

Chill in the air…

Stilettos guiding me through the middle of the street,
Ignoring the crosswalk…best instinct I ever followed.

Led me into something I never expected…
Into your arms.

A stunning creature that embodies such grace, such beauty…
Purity in the ease of a glance.

In a world of numbered days and shaking doorways,
Change is the force driving me into your arms…
Into your arms.

You mask me with a canopy of all I’ve ever dreamed possible.
Reaching out to something I now know is real.

Set to the motion of a furious passion…
I savor the wings you’ve given the most sacred parts of all that I am.

Enduring a constant craving to surge into our own little universe…
Found in your arms.

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