Death Of The Platonic Paradise


I grew up with two older brothers.  Therefore I am certain that because of this, I have always felt more comfy around guys than girls. In my opinion, guys are naturally less judgmental and lack the overall sense of ridiculousness that an overwhelmingly amount of women (whether they want to admit it or not) exude. However, I do admit I make that Ridiculist at times, too.

That being said, I have always had a lot of guy friends. Yes, just friends. Even as an intelligent, attractive and seemingly-normal female. Just friends. Even as a woman who writes about sports and works around lots of athletes. Just friends. And quite frankly, I’m pretty easy on the eyes so it’s not like I’m some charity case trapped in the Friend Zone with no options. Still, grotesque creature or not, I have always believed that men and women can thrive in a Platonic Paradise because I experience it on a daily basis. Not to discount my share of relationships with certain people, but it is possible to be just friends.

Well, I’m not sure if there’s some sort of out-of-line eclipse situation causing an upset of typically normal emotions, but something has definitely changed. What in God’s name is going on? What is with the sudden revealing of more-than-friends feelings between men and women?

Sure, I love you guy, but not in that way. So now what? Either the friendship ends because someone doesn’t get their way (which sucks), or both parties are mature enough to deal with it and carry on the friendship (which is a rarity). Let me tell you…that elephant in the room…it NEVER goes away. And it stinks.

And I’m not writing this to be like, “Oh, poor me. I’m soooo amazing and no guy can be just friends with me blah blah blah.” No. I just wonder if in the end, our coveted platonic relationships are all just destined for a love-tainted doomsday.

So I must ask myself, why does this happen? What causes us to go from happy dwelling in a Platonic Paradise to over the river and through the Friend Zone and straight into Love Disaster Mode?

Could it be that maybe it is NOT possible for men and women to keep platonic relationships after all? Not because of creepiness or perviness on either side, but because of pure human nature. Perhaps it is the natural development of feelings that are inevitable when two people spend time together and get to know one another in a real way…particularly without the added complications that almost always accompany the physical aspect of a relationship.

My point is this, while we should all be flattered when someone we consider to be just a friend takes a little bit more than a liking to us, if they have the ability to care for us beyond the Friend Zone, then they should also have the ability to respect however we react to their feelings…whether it is in their favor or not.

My hope is that regardless of whichever way the situation becomes unbalanced, that the Platonic Paradise we’ve all learned to love doesn’t end up as some washed over deserted island never to be enjoyed again.

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One thought on “Death Of The Platonic Paradise

  1. i don’t know if i agree with the, “death of the Platonic Paradise”. I think you just may be on the wrong island. 🙂

    What is fascinating about the topic is this; if you are looking to get married or find true love, the best place to look is your best friend. However, if you are comfortable with being single, then crossing that “thin line” is completely detrimental to the relationship.

    Having an opposite sex friendship with someone is very rewarding. As a male, having a female friend allows me to gain a better perspective on certain issues, and it is a nice change of pace compared to hanging with the fellas.

    It sure can be hard, but well worth it in the long run

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