Too Much Water = Drunken Afternoons


I drank 4 Liters of water yesterday. I’m no math whiz, but that’s a whole bunch of H2o.

So yummy!

Maybe it’s the ridiculously delicious tropical climate here in sunny Miami. Or maybe I’m borderline obsessed with flushing any and all possible toxins out of my body, so I took to the water plan. Keep in mind, I’m pretty darn healthy with my eating habits…minus the occasional cupcake or two or three. I told myself, lots of water must be good for you. It cleanses your body, keeps your skin all pretty, keeps you hydrated…what could be better? Why settle for 8 glasses a day?

Well, short of floating away around 4p.m., I noticed I started to feel kind of weird (more so than usual). I felt, well, drunk. Clearly sober, I decided to investigate. So I turned to my part-time lover Google for some info.

It turns out that too much water a.k.a. water intoxication a.k.a. hyper-hydration a.k.a. water poisoning does exist. It is a potentially fatal disturbance in the brain which can occur when your normal balance of  electrolytes gets all screwy from overwatering so-to-speak. Why, electrolytes, why? Basically, if you drink too much in a short period of time, your body is unable to process it properly and you’re toast…wet, soggy toast.

Then I remembered what happened to Andy Warhol, the best artist ever to grace this planet. Warhol may have died from a cardiac arrhyhmia, but his family sued the hospital, claiming the arrhythmia was a result of water intoxication from being overloaded with fluids after routine gallbladder surgery.

Maybe I was feeling a little soggy. Maybe my drunkenness in the afternoon was just all the toxins leaving my body. My parents would disagree, as they often insisted I have no toxins in me to begin with, considering the way I eat. Even so, I figured that’d just so happen to be my luck…that I’d end up overdosing on water. I imagined my funeral…ironically, held on the water. My poor parents.

I took the Warhol connection as a sign and had only 3 Liters today.

Baby sips, er, steps.

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